I'm not pissed off because we lost, we were bound to lose a game at some point. I'm pissed off because of the REASON behind our loss.
Joe Girardi over-managed yet another game. How many times have we seen that this year? The man seems to be a little too eager, and seems to think that he's a genius. I don't think I can take any more games in which we go through our entire bullpen, but I know I'll see such games over and over again as long as Girardi is our manager.
While he has his strong points (namely managing the lineup - although, to be fair, our lineup pretty much manages itself), Girardi's bullpen micromanagement is simply horrifying.
So, inspired by tonight's loss, I came up with my very own 30 Facts about Joe Girardi.
These are mostly for fun, so don't start telling me I'm any less of a fan because of this post. I was against Joe Girardi getting the managerial job right from the start, and I still don't think he should be our manager. I don't think that our success this year can really be accredited to him, because with a roster like ours, it would take an absolute moron to screw it up.
Having said that, and before you read my 30 facts, I want to say that although I have my beef with Girardi, and although I think he's the wrong man for the job, I still stand behind him SOLELY because he's our manager.
These facts are just my way of venting, and are mostly for fun. Enjoy.
30 Facts about Joe Girardi
- Every time Joe Girardi changes a pitcher, a little kitten dies.
- The creators of "The Bronx is Burning" decided to create a movie about Joe Girardi: The Bullpen is Burning.
- Joe Girardi shits the bed so often that he changes sheets almost as frequently as he changes pitchers.
- Even Tony Larussa thinks that Joe Girardi over-manages the bullpen.
- Joe Girardi's bullpen management was inspired by the military: leave no man behind.
- Joe Girardi must think he's managing a Little League team: every pitcher has to pitch.
- The number 27 on Girardi's jersey isn't symbolic of the quest for the 27th World Series championship; it's in reference to the number of pitching changes he makes per game.
- When playing 5-card-draw poker, Joe Girardi replaces 3 of the 4 aces in his hand.
- The Count from Sesame Street has a blast counting the number of pitchers Girardi brings into a game.
- Mathematicians who think that "infinity" is unreachable have never seen the number of pitching changes Joe Girardi makes.
- Joe Girardi changes more pitchers than "Octomom" changes diapers.
- Girardi's bullpen management is a schizophrenic's dream.
- Scott Proctor wishes that Girardi was the manager when he was a Yankee, that way he'd never have to face more than one hitter.
- I use Joe Girardi's pitching changes as a shot game whenever I want to get wasted.
- If the Yankees donated $1.00 to Africa every time Girardi changed a pitcher, they would end hunger on the continent.
- John Kerry called, he said that Joe Girardi changed positions too often.
- Elliot Spitzer has rotated prostitutes less often than Girardi has rotated pitchers.
- MLB should allow Joe Girardi to work with a 45-man roster in the playoffs to accommodate his pitching management.
- 5 phones were added in the Yankee dugout to communicate with the bullpen because one phone couldn't handle the heavy load of calls.
- Like sand through the hourglass, so are the pitchers in Girardi's bullpen.
- Joe Girardi failed high school Algebra: no matter what the equation was, x = 8 every single time.
- Mrs. Girardi is scared because Joe told her he wants to have enough kids to pitch an entire game.
- With Girardi as manager, every time a bell rings a pitcher gets his wings.
- NYC subway maps make more sense to tourists than Girardi's bullpen management does to Yankees fans.
- Joe Girardi is managing the wrong bullpen in New York.
- When Joe Girardi gets dressed in the morning, he tries on 8 different pairs of shoes before he leaves the house barefoot.
- Cody Ransom thinks Joe Girardi is a genius.
- When in doubt, go to the mound, and do nothing.
- I can't decide if I should call him "Joe 'One-Batter-Too-Late' Girardi" or "Joe '3-batters-too-soon' Girardi".
- Joe Girardi's Calls To The Bullpen are sponsored by Pepto Bismol: you're gonna need this shit while watching the game.
That's the BeeBz Effect. Can you feel it?
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