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•• 30 Facts about Joe Girardi ••

Tonight's game pissed me off.

I'm not pissed off because we lost, we were bound to lose a game at some point. I'm pissed off because of the REASON behind our loss.

Joe Girardi over-managed yet another game. How many times have we seen that this year? The man seems to be a little too eager, and seems to think that he's a genius. I don't think I can take any more games in which we go through our entire bullpen, but I know I'll see such games over and over again as long as Girardi is our manager.

While he has his strong points (namely managing the lineup - although, to be fair, our lineup pretty much manages itself), Girardi's bullpen micromanagement is simply horrifying.

So, inspired by tonight's loss, I came up with my very own 30 Facts about Joe Girardi.

These are mostly for fun, so don't start telling me I'm any less of a fan because of this post. I was against Joe Girardi getting the managerial job right from the start, and I still don't think he should be our manager. I don't think that our success this year can really be accredited to him, because with a roster like ours, it would take an absolute moron to screw it up.

Having said that, and before you read my 30 facts, I want to say that although I have my beef with Girardi, and although I think he's the wrong man for the job, I still stand behind him SOLELY because he's our manager.

These facts are just my way of venting, and are mostly for fun. Enjoy.

30 Facts about Joe Girardi

  1. Every time Joe Girardi changes a pitcher, a little kitten dies.
  2. The creators of "The Bronx is Burning" decided to create a movie about Joe Girardi: The Bullpen is Burning.
  3. Joe Girardi shits the bed so often that he changes sheets almost as frequently as he changes pitchers.
  4. Even Tony Larussa thinks that Joe Girardi over-manages the bullpen.
  5. Joe Girardi's bullpen management was inspired by the military: leave no man behind.
  6. Joe Girardi must think he's managing a Little League team: every pitcher has to pitch.
  7. The number 27 on Girardi's jersey isn't symbolic of the quest for the 27th World Series championship; it's in reference to the number of pitching changes he makes per game.
  8. When playing 5-card-draw poker, Joe Girardi replaces 3 of the 4 aces in his hand.
  9. The Count from Sesame Street has a blast counting the number of pitchers Girardi brings into a game.
  10. Mathematicians who think that "infinity" is unreachable have never seen the number of pitching changes Joe Girardi makes.
  11. Joe Girardi changes more pitchers than "Octomom" changes diapers.
  12. Girardi's bullpen management is a schizophrenic's dream.
  13. Scott Proctor wishes that Girardi was the manager when he was a Yankee, that way he'd never have to face more than one hitter.
  14. I use Joe Girardi's pitching changes as a shot game whenever I want to get wasted.
  15. If the Yankees donated $1.00 to Africa every time Girardi changed a pitcher, they would end hunger on the continent.
  16. John Kerry called, he said that Joe Girardi changed positions too often.
  17. Elliot Spitzer has rotated prostitutes less often than Girardi has rotated pitchers.
  18. MLB should allow Joe Girardi to work with a 45-man roster in the playoffs to accommodate his pitching management.
  19. 5 phones were added in the Yankee dugout to communicate with the bullpen because one phone couldn't handle the heavy load of calls.
  20. Like sand through the hourglass, so are the pitchers in Girardi's bullpen.
  21. Joe Girardi failed high school Algebra: no matter what the equation was, x = 8 every single time.
  22. Mrs. Girardi is scared because Joe told her he wants to have enough kids to pitch an entire game.
  23. With Girardi as manager, every time a bell rings a pitcher gets his wings.
  24. NYC subway maps make more sense to tourists than Girardi's bullpen management does to Yankees fans.
  25. Joe Girardi is managing the wrong bullpen in New York.
  26. When Joe Girardi gets dressed in the morning, he tries on 8 different pairs of shoes before he leaves the house barefoot.
  27. Cody Ransom thinks Joe Girardi is a genius.
  28. When in doubt, go to the mound, and do nothing.
  29. I can't decide if I should call him "Joe 'One-Batter-Too-Late' Girardi" or "Joe '3-batters-too-soon' Girardi".
  30. Joe Girardi's Calls To The Bullpen are sponsored by Pepto Bismol: you're gonna need this shit while watching the game.

That's the BeeBz Effect. Can you feel it?


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